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Sunday, September 27, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
The Indecisive nature of ME..I mean I
I could be the most indecisive person I know, but then again I haven't met everyone. I could describe indecisiveness as the inability to make a choice or settle, or the ability to eliminate all choices. Does this make sense? Here's a good case in point.
I'm on an international flight to some place far. Being confined in a small area is making me weary and irritable. Even more annoying is the guy sitting next to me who won't stop talking to me. Just because we're on the same flight does not mean that we share common interests!!!! To make it worse my headphones are not working but I put them on anyway to ward off this intrusive stranger.
It's been a few hours into the flight, so i'm starting to wonder when dinner is going to be served. I'm not particularly thrilled by airplane food, because of the fear of stomach aches and regular or irregular bathroom visits. I'm already paranoid of public restrooms and have nightmares of being stuck in an airline toliet. Therefore I must be wise in my food choice.The flight attendant announces via the intercom that food and beverages are about to be served. I slowly let down my tray and quickly browse through the airplane shopping catalog. The items in this catalog are, for lack of a better term, ridiculous. Why the hell would someone buy an Electric Egg Boiler??Has placing an egg in a pot with water and letting it boil become man's greatest challenge? They must be targeting the rich and lazy.
After about 20 minutes, I see the attendant make her way through the aisle uttering the words "Chicken or Beef?"."So that's what's for dinner" I say to myself. I try to figure out what my appetite desires. I realize that she's maybe 3 rows away from me and I haven't decided. I try to extend my neck to see what the meals look like but in vain. "Man, I wish they could've handed us menus". I don't know if the chicken is fried, baked, sauteed, broiled, or stewed. And what about the beef? But how can you go wrong with chicken....I think it's much safer. Satisfied with my decision, I wait as she approaches me.Reminding myself that i'm not at a 5 star restaurant, I make the decision that chicken it is.
Finally the food cart has arrived and with a bright, white smile she asks "Chicken or beef miss?". "BEEF" I respond.I open the contents of my meal and start working on itl. The beef was the worst choice. "I knew I should've ordered chicken..argghh". I didn't consume the beef but settled for the roll and dessert. Too late now, the next meal is breakfast and there are no choices.
So, did I make a bad decision based on this story?????Do I hear "YES" in agreement? Well, my answer is NO! I didn't make the wrong decision because I didn't know how good or bad the chicken was.....I didn't get to taste it. I had two unknowns and had to settle for one.I guess that's what life is; ALL about choices. The aftermath of your decisions are determined by the choices you make. Bottom line, you always have a choice (Because not having a choice is also a choice).
PLACES THAT INDECISIVE PEOPLE SHOULD AVOID
1. The ice-cream aisle
2. Tatoo shops
3. sky diving
4. Bunjee jumping
PLACES THAT INDECISIVE PEOPLE SHOULD GO BY ALL MEANS
1. Buffetts!!!
2. Candy stores
3. Wine tasting
4. Wedding cake sampling
I'm on an international flight to some place far. Being confined in a small area is making me weary and irritable. Even more annoying is the guy sitting next to me who won't stop talking to me. Just because we're on the same flight does not mean that we share common interests!!!! To make it worse my headphones are not working but I put them on anyway to ward off this intrusive stranger.
It's been a few hours into the flight, so i'm starting to wonder when dinner is going to be served. I'm not particularly thrilled by airplane food, because of the fear of stomach aches and regular or irregular bathroom visits. I'm already paranoid of public restrooms and have nightmares of being stuck in an airline toliet. Therefore I must be wise in my food choice.The flight attendant announces via the intercom that food and beverages are about to be served. I slowly let down my tray and quickly browse through the airplane shopping catalog. The items in this catalog are, for lack of a better term, ridiculous. Why the hell would someone buy an Electric Egg Boiler??Has placing an egg in a pot with water and letting it boil become man's greatest challenge? They must be targeting the rich and lazy.
After about 20 minutes, I see the attendant make her way through the aisle uttering the words "Chicken or Beef?"."So that's what's for dinner" I say to myself. I try to figure out what my appetite desires. I realize that she's maybe 3 rows away from me and I haven't decided. I try to extend my neck to see what the meals look like but in vain. "Man, I wish they could've handed us menus". I don't know if the chicken is fried, baked, sauteed, broiled, or stewed. And what about the beef? But how can you go wrong with chicken....I think it's much safer. Satisfied with my decision, I wait as she approaches me.Reminding myself that i'm not at a 5 star restaurant, I make the decision that chicken it is.
Finally the food cart has arrived and with a bright, white smile she asks "Chicken or beef miss?". "BEEF" I respond.I open the contents of my meal and start working on itl. The beef was the worst choice. "I knew I should've ordered chicken..argghh". I didn't consume the beef but settled for the roll and dessert. Too late now, the next meal is breakfast and there are no choices.
So, did I make a bad decision based on this story?????Do I hear "YES" in agreement? Well, my answer is NO! I didn't make the wrong decision because I didn't know how good or bad the chicken was.....I didn't get to taste it. I had two unknowns and had to settle for one.I guess that's what life is; ALL about choices. The aftermath of your decisions are determined by the choices you make. Bottom line, you always have a choice (Because not having a choice is also a choice).
PLACES THAT INDECISIVE PEOPLE SHOULD AVOID
1. The ice-cream aisle
2. Tatoo shops
3. sky diving
4. Bunjee jumping
PLACES THAT INDECISIVE PEOPLE SHOULD GO BY ALL MEANS
1. Buffetts!!!
2. Candy stores
3. Wine tasting
4. Wedding cake sampling
My perfect JOB interview
Okay, so you put together a nice resume/cv, cooked-up or submitted excellent references and maybe a recommendation letter and you've been called to an interview. You've managed to sell yourself on paper and the hardest part is showing up for the interview, on time and professionally dressed.
You unleash that suit that's been gathering dust and assisting spiders build their webs. Find a matching tie, shirt and polished shoes and out the door you are. Before that, you've managed to indulge yourself in deodorant because the sweat glands will be working over time. And remembering to give a firm handshake, because nothing says that "I'm a hardworker" than a firm handshake.You're actually on time, despite spending 20 minutes in the restroom checking yourself out. The HR manager calls you in, offers you a sit and starts drilling you with the typical interview questions.
This is what my dream interview would be like........
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF
I'm saggitarius, I particularly don't like long walks in the park. I sneak in my own popcorn when I go to the movies.
HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT US?
Well, a friend of mine who works here said that someone he knows is about to get fired and that I should take this opportunity to apply for the job. That's my dawg right thurr! Actually he's one of my references. We go waaayyy back when.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS ORGANIZATION
Nothing. Am I supposed to know this? Well since you work here, could you please tell me more about this place?
ARE YOU APPLYING FOR OTHER JOBS
Hell to the yeah. You think i'm banking all my money on this job? Actually I got an offer I just wanted to see how much you're paying first.
ARE YOU A TEAM-PLAYER?
No. I don't play sports but I love to watch soccer. Will there be any sporting events that i should be aware of?
HOW LONG WOULD YOU EXPECT TO WORK FOR US IF HIRED?
eeehmmm until I get a better job...definately. This is just to pass time, pay a few bills while looking for a real job.
EXPLAIN HOW YOU'D BE AN ASSET TO THIS ORGANIZATION
uuhmm..define asset? oh ok. I would show up for work and leave as soon as it's time for me to leave.
DO YOU WORK UNDER PRESSURE?
If pressure is someone breathing down my neck all the time then NO.
WHAT KIND OF WORK ENVIRONMENT DO YOU PREFER?
I prefer my own corner office with a view. A place where I can be social, so I don't have to sit at my desk all day. Well, I didn't get the job. What a surprise.
You unleash that suit that's been gathering dust and assisting spiders build their webs. Find a matching tie, shirt and polished shoes and out the door you are. Before that, you've managed to indulge yourself in deodorant because the sweat glands will be working over time. And remembering to give a firm handshake, because nothing says that "I'm a hardworker" than a firm handshake.You're actually on time, despite spending 20 minutes in the restroom checking yourself out. The HR manager calls you in, offers you a sit and starts drilling you with the typical interview questions.
This is what my dream interview would be like........
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF
I'm saggitarius, I particularly don't like long walks in the park. I sneak in my own popcorn when I go to the movies.
HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT US?
Well, a friend of mine who works here said that someone he knows is about to get fired and that I should take this opportunity to apply for the job. That's my dawg right thurr! Actually he's one of my references. We go waaayyy back when.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS ORGANIZATION
Nothing. Am I supposed to know this? Well since you work here, could you please tell me more about this place?
ARE YOU APPLYING FOR OTHER JOBS
Hell to the yeah. You think i'm banking all my money on this job? Actually I got an offer I just wanted to see how much you're paying first.
ARE YOU A TEAM-PLAYER?
No. I don't play sports but I love to watch soccer. Will there be any sporting events that i should be aware of?
HOW LONG WOULD YOU EXPECT TO WORK FOR US IF HIRED?
eeehmmm until I get a better job...definately. This is just to pass time, pay a few bills while looking for a real job.
EXPLAIN HOW YOU'D BE AN ASSET TO THIS ORGANIZATION
uuhmm..define asset? oh ok. I would show up for work and leave as soon as it's time for me to leave.
DO YOU WORK UNDER PRESSURE?
If pressure is someone breathing down my neck all the time then NO.
WHAT KIND OF WORK ENVIRONMENT DO YOU PREFER?
I prefer my own corner office with a view. A place where I can be social, so I don't have to sit at my desk all day. Well, I didn't get the job. What a surprise.
I miss......ME
Whatever happened to the old me?
You know, the one who used to be..
All up in every outing and every scene
Caught up in the moment, future too far to see.
Doing whatever YOU wanted to do..
Living life aimlessly not having a clue
Of what tomorrow brings or what is due,
Ya, whatever happened to the old you?
ME is what happened to the old me.
Shit, I realized that I'm actually not three!
That I'm not living at home but wish I could, rent-free.
That my employer doesn't really recognize my degree?
No... they didn't teach me "LIFE 101" at the university.
Like what i'm supposed to do during times of adversity?
And how to negotiate my first salary without losing my dignity,
That actually paying my bills on time is a necessity.
But I guess " The Course on life" is part of my education,
I may have not have seen it during registration.
I was still trying to figure out how to pay my tuition.
TOO excited about the prospects of attending a college institution.
Caught off guard by all those damn classes,
Or at the bars and parties busy shaking our asses.
Trying to fit in with the freshman and the rest of the masses.
Worried that there's not enough liqor filling our glasses.
This is in memory of the OLD me..But a NEWer, GROWN up version that IS the OLD(er) me.
You know, the one who used to be..
All up in every outing and every scene
Caught up in the moment, future too far to see.
Doing whatever YOU wanted to do..
Living life aimlessly not having a clue
Of what tomorrow brings or what is due,
Ya, whatever happened to the old you?
ME is what happened to the old me.
Shit, I realized that I'm actually not three!
That I'm not living at home but wish I could, rent-free.
That my employer doesn't really recognize my degree?
No... they didn't teach me "LIFE 101" at the university.
Like what i'm supposed to do during times of adversity?
And how to negotiate my first salary without losing my dignity,
That actually paying my bills on time is a necessity.
But I guess " The Course on life" is part of my education,
I may have not have seen it during registration.
I was still trying to figure out how to pay my tuition.
TOO excited about the prospects of attending a college institution.
Caught off guard by all those damn classes,
Or at the bars and parties busy shaking our asses.
Trying to fit in with the freshman and the rest of the masses.
Worried that there's not enough liqor filling our glasses.
This is in memory of the OLD me..But a NEWer, GROWN up version that IS the OLD(er) me.
Note to SELF!
Sometimes it just has to be all about YOU, I mean ME.1. Learn to say NO! I've learnt that niceness will get you nowhere in this world but heaven. People will take advantage of you. But if you really can't bring yourself to say no, maybe you can say "I really can't, because i've used up all my YESes for this month". See, that wasn't soooooo bad.2. Life is short; eat a DONUT! And if it's gonna be a donut, it better be a krispy kreme one. Life is too complicated to worry about how many grams of Trans Fat will be floating in my arteries. Let me worry about that when i'm like 70.3. Worry less or moderately. Hahaha..I have to laugh at this one. That's like telling me to cut my air inhalation by half and save oxygen. WHY? Trust me, it does work. If you can't fix it or have control over it, LET it GO. The universe or a higher power will definately take care of it.4. DREAM small, medium, big! Whatever the case just dream. Seriously...i know that some dreams just seem impossible, but have you tried? And i'm not talking dreaming while sleeping, like one I had years back of making out with Sean Paul backstage at one of his concerts:). I've still not pursued that dream. Even God wants us to have a vision of our lives.5. It's okay to GOSSIP! I think i got your attention with this one. As a much as I hate gossip about who's doing what, who, where, how and when, you have to savor it when it comes to work. I mean, you don't want to be last person to know that people are getting laid off or who's getting promoted. If it affects you in anyway, then you need to know.6. LAUGH at people...on TV..or anytime. I'm not talking about laughing at someone's misery but when something is comical. I've had people laugh really had at me when I decided to walk into a glass door at a party, coz my ass was toasted! It was funny. Lauging is good for your soul, more than smiling. Smiling leaves lines that need botox;)7. Be INTUITIVE! Follow your insticts always. How do you think all those species survive in the animal kingdom? If something doesn't feel or look right then avoid it by all means. I know it's hard sometimes but it could save your life.8. BE and DO YOU! Know one knows you better than you and God. Be true to yourself. Not everyone will like you despite of your awesome personality, charm, kindness and good looks. So be the best you can be for yourself.
Things they never taught us in college that I wish they would!
Wow! I can find the chemical formula for sodium nitroxide but I don't know how to use a fax machine. HELP!!!! Has this "duh" moment ever happened to you at the office? For all the unfortunate bunch that have to work 8 hrs in a cubicle office, or the lucky ones who have a corner office with a view, have probably encountered this problem.I am proposing the following courses to be taught in colleges and universities worldwide.
1. Sending a fax. What that screeching noise means.
2. Making xerox copies; Not just of your behind!
3. Typing really fast even with two fingers.
4. Calling in sick. How to make your voice raspy.
5. The difference between "reply" and "reply to all'. How to avoid sending e-mails to the wrong recipients.
6. Internet browsing at work. How to shut down the browser within a milisecond without losing your job.
7. Saving your files: saving your life
8. How to run the coffee machine and saving money by avoiding Starbucks.
9. Cool scribbles; How to stay alert during meetings.Use at your own risk because I am not hiring anytime soon.
1. Sending a fax. What that screeching noise means.
2. Making xerox copies; Not just of your behind!
3. Typing really fast even with two fingers.
4. Calling in sick. How to make your voice raspy.
5. The difference between "reply" and "reply to all'. How to avoid sending e-mails to the wrong recipients.
6. Internet browsing at work. How to shut down the browser within a milisecond without losing your job.
7. Saving your files: saving your life
8. How to run the coffee machine and saving money by avoiding Starbucks.
9. Cool scribbles; How to stay alert during meetings.Use at your own risk because I am not hiring anytime soon.
Positive thoughts result in positive things;think HUMONGOUS!
The mind is the most powerful tool of your existence, second to your heart? Is the mind similar to the brain? Let me google that. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, the mind is defined as "the element or complex of elements in an individual that feels, perceives, thinks, wills, and especially reasons". Okay, that makes sense to even the mindless and brainless of beings.
So now what is the brain? The brain is defined as "the portion of the vertebrate central nervous system enclosed in the skull and continuous with the spinal cord through the foramen magnum that is composed of neurons and supporting and nutritive structures (as glia) and that integrates sensory information from inside and outside the body in controlling autonomic function (as heartbeat and respiration), in coordinating and directing correlated motor responses, and in the process of learning."
Okay, major difference between the mind and the brain. The way I understand is that the mind are our collective thoughts and the brain is an organ that controls the rest of our bodies. So can you be brainy and mindless? And can you be mindlful and have no brains? Is the brain the tool to success or does the mind determine the outcome of our lives? Can we compare the person who invented sliced bread to Einstein? I commend the sliced-bread inventor because he/she has made my sandwich-making and butter-spreading life so easy. Just think, where would the toaser be without that invention? Damn, I would have to squish my bread into my toaster causing unnecessary smoke signals going off and major bread jams. Then I would be forced to read my toaster manual and figure out how to take the bread out with damaging the toaster. And if worse came to worse i'd have to call customer service, who would make me stay on the line because 1000 people jammed their toasters. Do you see how important this is?? hahahaha
Every best-seller or almost-made-it-to-the-shelf book tells us to think positive. Our thoughts become our actions. You think, therefore you are! Is it really true? So, if I kept telling myself a million times that I am the most gorgeous creature that walked the face of the earth, does that make me that? Or, if I place my hand on this hot flame, I will not burn? Or that, I will be so filthy, stinking rich, my money will be smelling like garbage but I will continue to stay on my ass and do nothing. I think it takes more than just thought.Maybe a little nip/tuck here and there, a few hair extensions and a red carpet may make me the most gorgeous woman of the night. But that took more than just thinking. So I guess that you have to put your thought into actions...DAAAAMMMNNNNNN. I guess there's not gonna be an easy way to make my first million. Even winning the lottery requires you to purchase a lottery ticket.
If you're gonna take an easy route and marry rich,then I guess your behind needs to hang out where the rich and famous are. Damn, times two.So dear people who are not geniuses and have to rely on their hands and feet to get a piece of a pie.
My advice for you is not only to think big, but you may want to put a little effort in the things you do. Your psychic may have told you differently, but again, how much of your hard-earned money did she trick you out of? I am the only legit psychic I know. I predict that this will be the last sentence in this note.
So now what is the brain? The brain is defined as "the portion of the vertebrate central nervous system enclosed in the skull and continuous with the spinal cord through the foramen magnum that is composed of neurons and supporting and nutritive structures (as glia) and that integrates sensory information from inside and outside the body in controlling autonomic function (as heartbeat and respiration), in coordinating and directing correlated motor responses, and in the process of learning."
Okay, major difference between the mind and the brain. The way I understand is that the mind are our collective thoughts and the brain is an organ that controls the rest of our bodies. So can you be brainy and mindless? And can you be mindlful and have no brains? Is the brain the tool to success or does the mind determine the outcome of our lives? Can we compare the person who invented sliced bread to Einstein? I commend the sliced-bread inventor because he/she has made my sandwich-making and butter-spreading life so easy. Just think, where would the toaser be without that invention? Damn, I would have to squish my bread into my toaster causing unnecessary smoke signals going off and major bread jams. Then I would be forced to read my toaster manual and figure out how to take the bread out with damaging the toaster. And if worse came to worse i'd have to call customer service, who would make me stay on the line because 1000 people jammed their toasters. Do you see how important this is?? hahahaha
Every best-seller or almost-made-it-to-the-shelf book tells us to think positive. Our thoughts become our actions. You think, therefore you are! Is it really true? So, if I kept telling myself a million times that I am the most gorgeous creature that walked the face of the earth, does that make me that? Or, if I place my hand on this hot flame, I will not burn? Or that, I will be so filthy, stinking rich, my money will be smelling like garbage but I will continue to stay on my ass and do nothing. I think it takes more than just thought.Maybe a little nip/tuck here and there, a few hair extensions and a red carpet may make me the most gorgeous woman of the night. But that took more than just thinking. So I guess that you have to put your thought into actions...DAAAAMMMNNNNNN. I guess there's not gonna be an easy way to make my first million. Even winning the lottery requires you to purchase a lottery ticket.
If you're gonna take an easy route and marry rich,then I guess your behind needs to hang out where the rich and famous are. Damn, times two.So dear people who are not geniuses and have to rely on their hands and feet to get a piece of a pie.
My advice for you is not only to think big, but you may want to put a little effort in the things you do. Your psychic may have told you differently, but again, how much of your hard-earned money did she trick you out of? I am the only legit psychic I know. I predict that this will be the last sentence in this note.
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